Life. A very tough two years of taking care of my mother in cancer.
But her fight is over now—she passed 19 days ago.
A revelation I’m still coming to terms with, since the pain feels like yesterday.
We, optimistically, created this banner for a private page that kept family & friends up to date on her fight. And now, broken heartedly, I’ve changed it . . . .
After 2 years of her all-consuming care, how do you just stop cold-turkey?
I find myself completely lost, trying to readjust to not being “needed.”
Someone inserted a poem in their condolence card-
When Tomorrow Starts Without Me
-it sent me into a blubbering cry all over again. But it also helped me hear some of her last words again, telling me how much she loved me, & was so proud of me. I would gladly sacrifice another 2 years to still have her here.
Someone also told me a daughter’s loss of her mother
is like no other loss you can ever know. I feel it.
She left me her house, wanting me to find a way to make it my own.
So I am still connected to her in that –ever so gratefully–
I hope I feel her around me always.
She knew I would find joy again through re-creation.
So I guess I will have projects to share—as I find my way forward once again.
But give me time-
I took care of my mom following a stroke for 9 months. Moved her into my house. Turned the living room into her room. 24/7 I was responsible. Family came to see her often and I was spelled to go grocery shopping. And then she was gone….Its been 2 years and I just finally moved some of the “durable medical equipment” to another room. I was left with no direction for what to do. My days had had a reason and purpose and no one even seemed to notice that now I was rudderless so I know exactly what you mean. It took me a good six months to figure out what to do every day. You need to give yourself time.
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Oh Catherine, I’m so sorry for your loss. You certainly proved yourself to be an exceptional daughter to your mother and I send all good thoughts your way as you find your way to your next path. Be well, take your time and take care of yourself .
Best,
David
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Catherine, I am so sorry. There is nothing quite like losing your mother. I likened it to being hit by a train. It has been 22 years and there are still times I really want to ask her advice on something. It becomes a different sorrow, but you will forever miss her, of course. Keep the good memories close, to help you in the darker days.
You know you were loved. Now, I wish you peace.
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My Mom passed away 15 1/2 year’s ago…. she may be gone but l talk to her almost every day. I am so sorry for your loss but she will be with you always.
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I love that you said that you would gladly sacrifice another 2 years to have her back. Thoughts and prayers for comfort.
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Catherine, I have been in your shoes and know the emptiness you are feeling right now. Take all the time it takes to find the new normal, it will come in it’s own time for you. Just know you are still in my prayers for peace.
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Catherine,
Dear friend, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. I’m out of the social media loop 99% of the time. I hopped over after searching for your acorn post, then hit HOME to see what’s been going on.
I remember after my mom passed, I kept going to the phone to call her every time something happened. I hadn’t realized how much I counted on her for that. Thinking of you, and hoping that you are taking care of yourself.
I’m thankful that you were able to be there for your mom in her time of need.
take care!
gail
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